A quick Google search presented several possible solutions:

Making sure 'index.cfm' is in the list of default content pages within the IIS website document properties.

Making sure '/*.cfm=ajp13' was listed within the 'uriworkermap.properties' file in the Tomcat conf folder.

Both these were already done, and still nothing. Another solution was outlined at several sites, including http://cflove.org/2010/12/railotomcat-and-iis-http-error-443-not-found-the-page-you-are-requesting-cannot-be-served-error.cfm, which looked at Handler Mapping within IIS. This did work fine, except Railo Session and Client data was being lost everytime it would redirect to the default index.cfm. So, when a logged in user went to ‘/example’, they would be given a new CFID.

The only way to get the default index.cfm page to work and maintain session and client data was to add '/*=ajp13' to the 'uriworkermap.properties' file in the Tomcat conf folder, which passes EVERYTHING off to Tomcat and Railo, making IIS redundant, but at least everything is working.

My first order will have to be the ‘Volcano Burrito’:

“A warm, soft flour tortilla that’s packed with a double portion of seasoned ground beef, seasoned rice, crunchy red tortilla strips, real cheddar cheese, cool reduced fat sour cream and cheesy molten hot lava sauce”.

Who doesn’t want cheesy molten hot lava burning it’s way through their intestinal tract? The best thing about the ‘Volcano Burrito’? Only a measly 800 calories. Not that you’ll be digesting any of it. It’s not called the Volcano for nothing.

At least we’ll finally know what all the fuss was about in Demolition Man.

According to Google Translate, his mutterings translate from Swedish to:

“I’ve been waiting for you, fat one. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”

Gulp. After what happened to poor Alfie, I’ve decided – I’m joining the Dark Side.

Andrew’s new turbo charged Saab 9-5 Aero HOT was quickly chosen as our method of transport so as to better blend in with the ‘boy racers’ cruising down the front in their modified Focus ST and Saxo chav chariots. After half an hour, Dad finally found first gear, and we were off, Albert happily chirping away in the back, smearing melted white chocolate over the the clean upholstery while I helpfully pointed out all the areas he had missed. Things were looking good – the sun was out, Albert was behaving, gear changes were down to 5 seconds accompanied with only a smattering of swearing. The traffic was God awful, as usual, and I feared we were doomed to spend the day searching for that mythical perfect parking space, but Albert was becoming grizzly and we parked wherever we could.

As soon as Albert had more sun cream than an Aussie cricketer, we strapped him in the pushchair and went in search of some Rossi ice cream. It was Albert’s first time using the high end ‘Mamas and Papas’ pushchair which Dad found cheap in a charity shop, and compared to the old buggy it was a Godsend, and I highly recommend it to those who have the funds (or if you’re my Aunt, just steal one). Reaching the front, avoiding the vomit, syringes, beer cans, half eaten fish ‘n’ chips and inebriated chavs which littered the pavements, the search was on for the cheapest ice cream Southend could offer. There was little chance of Dad spending two pounds on a cornet only to watch it hit the ground in a cold dirty startling splat that thumps one right on the heart, sounding as loud as it feels. Luckily, we soon found a ‘Pensioners Cornet’ for 75p, and Dad was happier than Albert. There was no question of age, the ice cream man assuming Dad was on day release from some local care home. Becoming increasingly confused by the sight of an ice cream cone being shoved in his face, this new concept of dining was initially beyond Albert. Dad had the bright idea of snapping the end off the cone and dipping it in the ice cream, creating a miniature ice cream cornet, which Albert quickly licked at with delight, later gnashing on the crunchy wafer cone with his razor-sharp armour piercing teeth.

Albert approached the beach with the same trepidation an adult would feel stepping onto the surface of the moon for the first time. He enjoyed his time on the beach, taking in the new surroundings, busy discovering a whole new world. It was soon time to go, but before returning to the car, we stopped at an overcrowded playground, where Albert had a go on the slide, with some help from his Nan.

On the way back home, we stopped off to visit Uncle Gerrard and Auntie Sioban. After a vigorous knocking on the door loud enough to wake a crack den it was assumed there was no one home, until I noticed an open window and the sound of a hoover inside.

Door finally answered, Albert entered but stayed put just beyond the threshold for several minutes, expecting the promise of his favourite food (crisps, and plenty of them) to be some form of cunning ruse designed to discover the stash of milky bar buttons melting away in his pocket. It was only when the salty snacks were shown that he stepped forth, salivating. Hula Hoops were a first for Albert. The initial crack accompanying every Hula Hoop sounded like snapping bones, a noise familiar to anyone who has ever offered Albert their hand. It’s difficult to say whether he preferred them over his usual diet of Monster Munch (Hot and Spicy flavour, no other), but safe to say he enjoyed them very much.

His feasting was interrupted by his Cousins brief appearance, not to lavish affection and gifts upon him, which Albert fully expected, but to a bum a ride from her Dad to a nearby BBQ. Thoroughly irked by the blatant snub, Albert decided to move her from top position of his list of ‘Favourite Cousins’ to last place, behind distant cousin Olof, a recluse living in the woods of Northern Sweden, hunting moose, deer and the occasional American backpacker.

Before leaving, Albert took a tour of the house, pressing every button he could find and causing more damage than an electromagnetic pulse. Ovens turned on, clock radio alarms reset, phones and mobiles left calling various police forces and speaking clocks from around the globe. Crisps eaten, nappy changed, chaos caused, it was time to go home. Final score: Albert 1, Southend 0.

I mused that Bertie’s feeding wasn’t too far removed from that of a killer whale at Seaworld; both needed “you will get wet if you sit here” warnings. We, and most other diners were well within the “Soak Zone”. Now was the time to cover all electronic equipment and adorn waterproof poncho.

Andrew, the poor sod on caretaker duties and I watched intently as the pincer like hand snatched greedily at the chicken and mash. The first mouthful was a roller coaster of emotions. At first surprise, moving quickly to disgust, replaced by awe, leading to loathing and contempt only to end in a sudden burst of ecstasy. A collective sigh of relief echoed throughout the restaurant, alas, short-lived. Albert’s crane like arm lowered, hands scooping at the mash, raised to his gaping mouth, razor sharp teeth at the ready. And then… he stopped. A devilish smirk appeared (what his cousin would lovingly call ‘the Chucky’ face). The caretaker, mop at the ready, knew long before us, that this ambitious endeavour was doomed. The mash was airborne. A vehement scream that could wake a Balrog quicker than Pippin ever could was unleashed. Fellow patrons glared at Andrew, he gawked at Albert, I couldn’t help but look to the misery stricken caretaker. His thoughts were obvious: “this shit ain’t worth minimum wage”. Any rush to escape would be hindered by slippery mash and rolling crayons. The manager feared a lawsuit. Andrew was left with no choice but to offer Albert his new and expensive smart-phone as appeasement, gratefully accepted and then promptly dipped in mash.

At this stage Andrew was more hysterical than Albert, and I had accidentally rubbed Nando’s “Extra Hot” sauce in my eye, despite moments earlier noting that you would have to be an incredible pillock to make such a mistake. Reading the large and foreboding warning “Avoid contact with eyes – if contact occurs seek immediate medical assistance” done little to subdue my growing panic. Luckily Albert took pleasure in my pain, perking up at the sight of my watery eyes and temporary blindness. Just when the caretaker had finished cleaning up, eye fucking us throughout, Albert’s plate now clean, it was onto the bottomless frozen yoghurt. Fully expecting Andrew to somehow gently heat the icy fat-free desert to a temperature more in-line with his expectations, disappointment lead to rage and the ‘all you can eat’ quickly became ‘all you can throw’ yoghurt.

Food eaten (mostly thrown), Andrew’s hip flask drained, it was time to make a quick exit, sans normal friendly farewell from the Nando’s staff. Final score: Albert 1, Nando’s 0.

As for the store itself, it’s just like Currys only with lot’s of super friendly Americans on staff – white teeth, tanned skin. Don’t be fooled though, it’s still no better in terms of tech advise. I asked the guy demoing the projectors whether he had any DLP or LCD projectors in addition to the D-ILA on demo. He looked puzzled and quickly admitted that he didn’t know much about projectors. Lot’s of staff pushing dodgy overpriced HDMI cables, warning potential buyers that buying a cheaper one will make the picture look like crap. Sigh. They were keen to push LCD and LED, and not the superior plasma sets. “Geek Squad” my arse. The only true geek I spotted was the Best Buy employee who picked up on my Tyrell Corporation Blade Runner T-shirt from lastexittonowhere. The first person to cotton on since buying it – no one’s going to figure out my Omni Consumer Products (OCP) T-shirt (from RoboCop, if your not geek enough).

There were lots of photographers and film crews capturing the madness, and I leave you with some exclusive footage taken just moments before opening.

So when one came up for sale at £300, I had to have it. Not sure how I’m going to change the living room to fit this in, but it looks great – much like a giant plasma – the velvet screen border makes all the difference.

The Firehawk screen material is far more grey in colour than my current Da-lite High Contrast Cinema Vision (HCCV) screen so it should further help to combat light reflecting back from the living rooms light coloured walls, ceiling and carpet.

A proper review and comparison with my current Da-lite HCCV when I figure out the new living room layout – for now, here’s a few pictures.

Step 1: Why use HeadSpace2? Site Sketch 101 answers this with Andrew Kolyvas’ SEO Tips: Tricks For Your Wordpress Blog which details not only why HeadSpace2 is necessary, but also why it should be chosen above over popular SEO plugins for WordPress such as All in One SEO Pack.

Step 2: Installation. Next we need to grab the plugin, install it and activate it. Head over to Urban Giraffe, the Headspace2 plugin homepage for a good overview of the plugin and details on installation, which is simple and straightforward.

Step 3: Preperation. Now HeadSpace2 is active, there’s one very important step that most other guides miss. You need to prepare your themes header.php so that HeadSpace2 can perform its SEO magic on the all-important ‘title’ META tag. Your theme header.php will contain the following line of code:

<title><?php bloginfo('name'); ?> <?php if ( is_single() ) { ?> &raquo; Blog Archive <?php } ?> <?php wp_title(); ?></title>

Which produces the following HTML in your Head tag:

<title>Blog Title &raquo; Blog Archive &raquo; Post Title</title>

As HeadSpace2 uses the php wp_title() function to insert your specific SEO title meta data, this means that your title will always have “Blog Title » Blog Archive »” appended before your HeadSpace2 title. Ugly stuff, and not very SEO. We need to strip <?php bloginfo('name'); ?> <?php if ( is_single() ) { ?> &raquo; Blog Archive <?php } ?> <?php wp_title(); ?> and replace with <?php trim(wp_title("")); ?>. This will ensure HeadSpace2 is unhampered and will only use the title data you want to use.

Step 4: Settings. With that done,you can now venture into the settings, and it’s likely that you will quickly become overwhelmed by the myriad of options and configurations available. To get you familiar with using HeadSpace2 I recommend Cenay Nailor’s HeadSpace2 video tutorial, and then take a look at this quick guide to HeadSpace2, which although very short, is in my opinion the best guide to start you off using HeadSpace2.

Step 5: Removing Duplicate Content for SEO. Tom Lambert has written an excellent guide on using HeadSpace to remove duplicate content from your blog which will allow you to select which pages should be indexed by Google et al. and help boost your search engine rankings. One important note though, Tom talks of a ‘No Index/No Follow’ HeadSpace2 page module, but with the latest version of HeadSpace2 this is now called the ‘Meta Robots’ page module. Also, I would include “Author Pages” as a page that needs to be “noindex,follow”, along with Tom’s recommendation of Archives, Categories, Search and Tag Pages.